love tank = FULL
Allow me another moment to muse on relationships. The background of this post: reading 'The 5 Love Languages', a brief discussion on apology, and some very wise advice on love -- all within the past week.
Finally got down to reading 'The 5 Love Languages' by Gary Chapman. The book teaches us that there are 5 love languages, or ways in which people express love: Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Quality Time, Gifts and Acts of Service. Everyone speaks a 'primary' language (e.g. one whose love language is physical touch will feel more loved when hugged often) that is largely determined by our environment as we were growing up. Imptly, it exorts us to learn to speak others' love languages for successful relationships.
Which is well and good if everyone reads the book. The thing is, my primary love language is Words of Affirmation, and since that is probably like Braille to some friends, prolonged exposure with them left me feeling majorly unloved. Mr Chapman claims that most people will reciprocate within a few weeks of your regularly speaking their love language, but I could only conclude that certain people are emotionally deaf and dumb. I had a lovely banking metaphor which detailed how we were all emotional bankrupts running on reserves and causing the downfall of the state, but on second read sounded very bitter (probably cos it was). Let me just say that "if you don't make a lot of noise about something, I'll just assume you're ok" is the worst possible way to maintain a friendship, and at the same time, the best way to get someone to stop doing something that you're unhappy with is to ask nicely. I'm praying for God's grace and wisdom for us all...
On Fri evening at a support group for young adults with diabetes, we discusse the power of an apology. A good apology is 3 things: takes responsibility ("What I did was wrong"), expresses regret ("I feel bad that I hurt you"), and desires to make things better ("How do I make it up to you?"). There are some apologies I would like to do all over again, and some I would dearly love to hear... But I realise an apology forced out of someone is as good as no apology at all, so no point placing too much hope on prideful flesh. This is just to affirm the power of words, especially to me.
Finally, the revelation. Spent Sat night with a very anointed worship leader, who reminded us that God is love, and to show people God we show love (1 John 4:7-21). To love others, however, you first need to LOVE YOURSELF... And the best way to do that is to let God love you. And the love of God just washed over my raw heart and reminded me of how perfectly loved I am, hence the title of this post.
Last year during one particular CG session, a leader encouraged us to have a word for the year, and see God bring it to pass. I immediately thought of LIBERATION, and true enough I'm being freed from several emotionally toxic friendships... memories still get the better of me a lot, but am still learning to let go and let God. This year's word is LAVISH, and I know I'm looking forward to basking in His extravagant love.
"3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 To an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for you, 5 Who are kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. 6 Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations: 7 That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ: 8 Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory: 9 Receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls."
- 1 Peter 1:3-9
Finally got down to reading 'The 5 Love Languages' by Gary Chapman. The book teaches us that there are 5 love languages, or ways in which people express love: Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Quality Time, Gifts and Acts of Service. Everyone speaks a 'primary' language (e.g. one whose love language is physical touch will feel more loved when hugged often) that is largely determined by our environment as we were growing up. Imptly, it exorts us to learn to speak others' love languages for successful relationships.
Which is well and good if everyone reads the book. The thing is, my primary love language is Words of Affirmation, and since that is probably like Braille to some friends, prolonged exposure with them left me feeling majorly unloved. Mr Chapman claims that most people will reciprocate within a few weeks of your regularly speaking their love language, but I could only conclude that certain people are emotionally deaf and dumb. I had a lovely banking metaphor which detailed how we were all emotional bankrupts running on reserves and causing the downfall of the state, but on second read sounded very bitter (probably cos it was). Let me just say that "if you don't make a lot of noise about something, I'll just assume you're ok" is the worst possible way to maintain a friendship, and at the same time, the best way to get someone to stop doing something that you're unhappy with is to ask nicely. I'm praying for God's grace and wisdom for us all...
On Fri evening at a support group for young adults with diabetes, we discusse the power of an apology. A good apology is 3 things: takes responsibility ("What I did was wrong"), expresses regret ("I feel bad that I hurt you"), and desires to make things better ("How do I make it up to you?"). There are some apologies I would like to do all over again, and some I would dearly love to hear... But I realise an apology forced out of someone is as good as no apology at all, so no point placing too much hope on prideful flesh. This is just to affirm the power of words, especially to me.
Finally, the revelation. Spent Sat night with a very anointed worship leader, who reminded us that God is love, and to show people God we show love (1 John 4:7-21). To love others, however, you first need to LOVE YOURSELF... And the best way to do that is to let God love you. And the love of God just washed over my raw heart and reminded me of how perfectly loved I am, hence the title of this post.
Last year during one particular CG session, a leader encouraged us to have a word for the year, and see God bring it to pass. I immediately thought of LIBERATION, and true enough I'm being freed from several emotionally toxic friendships... memories still get the better of me a lot, but am still learning to let go and let God. This year's word is LAVISH, and I know I'm looking forward to basking in His extravagant love.
"3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, which according to his abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 To an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for you, 5 Who are kept by the power of God through faith unto salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. 6 Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations: 7 That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ: 8 Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory: 9 Receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls."
- 1 Peter 1:3-9
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