guilt(y)?

A housemate made this joke as i joined the table, sthing along the lines of "oh! you're finally eating with us today" which made me realise i'm not eating with my house as much as i'd envisioned. Find myself carding in a lot of s'poreans and walking past house table most of the time... it's just so much more comfortable to be with ppl who can understand your complaints abt the food, the hw, the ppl, or sympathise with about the holidays, the midterms, or the food.

I just have trouble relating to some americans. is it my fault that i've never watched The OC or The Daley Show? (yeah, it is for not trying.)
okok so it's a lil discrimination on both sides... thing is, i'm not really an extroverted extrovert. in the sense that i won't go barging ard ppl's rooms to say hi how are you can i talk? it's just too intrusive and i prefer to hold ppl at arm's length til i'm sure i like them. (which is also why it takes a long time to know me well, the best way is just to stick and work with me! i don't benefit from superficial interactions, and of late i'm really beginning to loathe all the "how are you" small talk.)

Which is not how it works in my house... we operate on the 'open door' system. So just waltz in and yak anytime. Which is actually fine and promotes great house unity. But the other night i was irritated at this bunch of ppl making noise in my room, but maybe more so cos i couldn't join them. i COULD have put my work off but my hardworking asian values wouldn't let me i guess. i COULD have joined in their conversation but i was afraid they would leave me out of it. screw it all.

The sad fact is, there are certain cultural diffs i can't get over here.
The good thing: most ppl tt come here are exactly the sort of ppl i wanted to meet. :) And they ARE smart ppl! interesting ppl with opinions... not the usual ppl who are only concerned with what's at hand in their tiny lives, at the risk of sounding like an intellectual snob.

Just feel really bad for missing out on a lot of study breaks, and on house member's lives. i know a few are actually really really really nice whom i do want to know better... that said i thank god for so many ppl to go thru chem hw with! *memory of feverish copying notes night before chem prob set is due* guess i'll find my niche in time.

I have favour and peace in You Jesus!